


The Ark Assignment

by CharlotteLydia



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Porn With Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 19:15:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20662346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlotteLydia/pseuds/CharlotteLydia
Summary: When Tony and Steve's constant bickering drives everyone crazy, Director Fury and Deputy Director Hill come up with a special mission to get them back on track.





	1. The Assignment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CircleUp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CircleUp/gifts).

> These events take place before The Snap

_ He's late again, _ Steve thought, tapping his gloved fingers on the table and glaring at the door. He glanced at the clock hanging on the wall behind Director Fury. They had been waiting for Tony Stark for 20 minutes now.  _ As usual, no respect for anyone but himself, _ he fumed. "Sir, maybe we should just--"

"Sorry I'm late, the line for coffee was crazy long," Tony said as he sauntered into the room holding a steaming cup of that sweet bean juice. 

_ He has the audacity to show up late with coffee and didn't even offer to bring us any!  _ Steve groaned inwardly.  _ What the hell is wrong with this guy? I can't believe how selfish he is! _

Tony pulled out a chair across the table from Steve, throwing his furious teammate a roguish wink. "Plus I thought we were meeting in Conference Room 2."

Steve stood abruptly, his chair nearly toppling over behind him, and pointed an angry finger at Tony. "Stark, you know damn well there's only one conference room on this floor!"

Tony widens his eyes in surprise for a fraction of a second before he schools his face into a cocky grin. "So maybe we should meet on a different floor next time! You know, shake things up a bit? Maybe a little spontaneity could loosen that giant stick up your--"

"That's enough, children," Maria Hill interrupted, rolling her eyes. "If you guys want to play 'Whose Dick Is Bigger?' do it on your own time. Right now we have an important mission for you."

"Of course, Deputy Director, my apologies. Please proceed," Tony says, pulling a bag of chocolate covered blueberries form his suit pocket. He offers the bag to Hill and Fury, who both stare at him with matching frowns. "Where is everyone, by the way?"

"Clint and Natasha are in Missouri, Thor is still in that drinking tournament on Asgard, Wanda and Vision are meeting with Dr. Strange, and Banner is in Wakanda." Hill replied, tapping furiously on her tablet screen. "Looks like we're stuck with you two."

"Oh yeah, Loki sent a great picture of Thor in the group chat earlier," Tony said, swiping through his phone. 

"What's the mission, Director Fury?" Steve asked, straightening in his seat and shooting another angry glare at Tony.  _ That son of a bitch didn't even offer me a chocolate covered blueberry. What a jerk. _ Maybe an intense, rough mission was what he needed to work out the tension that had been building inside him over the past several weeks. The other Avengers had been staying fairly busy, leaving him alone with Stark most of the time. The two of them usually got along okay, but lately Tony seemed to be determined to push every one of Steve's buttons. Most days Steve wasn't sure if we wanted to wipe that cocky smirk off of Tony's face with a good right hook or...or maybe something else. He shook his head to recenter his thoughts and focused on Director Fury.

"It's come to our attention just how unprepared we are for a catastrophic event that could potentially wipe out 50% or more of life on this planet. Given the nature of our recent encounters and the types of enemies we have faced, we've pushed forward a project to preserve as much of that life as possible for future generations. That's where the Noah's Ark project comes in." Director Fury gestures behind him as pictures of various animals appear on the screens. "So far we've mostly had major events happening in cities, but if something happens in, let's say the Amazon rainforest, and that area is destroyed, we'll lose that entire ecosystem forever."

"Where do we come in?" Steve asked, genuinely confused. "Wouldn't someone like Banner be more suited for this?"

"Banner is discussing the project with King T'Challa and Princess Shuri in Wakanda so we need you two to start in the Americas," Hill answered shortly. "We're going to need you to collect as many high-priority DNA samples as possible to store in our database. Male and female, for recreating species in case of a catastrophic event."

"Wait a minute. You want us to run around jerking off polar bears?" Tony asked incredulously. "You can't be serious." He and Steve exchange a look. For once they seemed to be on the exact same page. 

"Oh, I'm deadly serious, Mr. Stark," Director Fury said, leaning forward in his seat with his elbows resting on the table and his hands steepled in front of him. "We need you to get on this immediately. We've made a list of our top priority targets, but you two can decide which one to start with."

"Well, obviously we should start with the Bald Eagle," Steve starts, just as Tony says, "We clearly need to start with the jaguar," but Director Fury cuts them both off with a raised hand.

"On the way. You should decide on the way."

"But shouldn't we--"

"Get. Out." Director Fury growls. 

Tony and Steve each take a copy of the list from Hill's outstretched hand and turn for the door, completely missing the triumphant smile Hill exchanges with Fury.

As they approach the door, both men reach for the handle, their fingers brushing. Steve bites his lip, trying to ignore the tingling sensation that zings up his arm. Tony glances at Steve's lip and grins again, leaning close to whisper, "I'm pretty sure it's me, by the way. But we can play any time you want."

Tony's breath, warm and with a slight scent of chocolate blueberry, tickles the skin behind Steve's ear and sends shivers down his spine. He rolls his shoulders and cracks his neck, trying to cover up the trembling. "What? Play what?" he whispered back. Trying to look at anything but the dangerous smirk on Tony's face.

"Whose Dick Is Bigger?"

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Over The Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve loses his patience with Tony's teasing.

“I still think that we should go for the Bald Eagle first,” Steve says firmly, his hand gripping the control column of the Quinjet. Being this close to Tony was making him feel like a coiled spring was tightening in his belly...or maybe his groin. Tony kept finding reasons to reach across Steve or lean a bit too close, brushing against him.  _ It’s like he’s doing it on purpose, _ Steve mused, as Tony leaned over him to peer at a dial on the console of the Quinjet, his arm brushing against Steve’s chest for the third time since they got in the jet.  _ If my nipples get any harder, they are going to chafe like crazy in this suit. _

“Why a Bald Eagle, Capsicle?” Tony asked, leaning back into his own seat. He fiddled with the controls to keep his hands busy. He’d forgotten to bring a snack and they were still sitting in the hangar, arguing about where to start their mission. 

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s an American icon! The symbol of our nation! It’s America’s bird!” 

“Ok, America’s Ass, how are you gonna jerk off an eagle?” Tony asked with a grin, finding a perfectly ripe banana tucked under his seat. Clint would probably not be thrilled that Tony stole another one of his snacks, but he just had to keep his hands and mouth busy or else he might push this thing with Cap a little too far.  _ Too far for Cap, maybe, _ Tony thought as he pulled the strips of yellow skin down. “I think that until we get the hang of this situation we should start with something we can definitely jerk off. Like a wolf.” He slid the banana into his mouth, watching Steve out of the corner of his eye. 

Steve inhaled sharply, his thoughts going fuzzy. He tried not to stare, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the long fruit sliding past Tony’s lips and into his hot mouth. “I-” Steve shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts and ignore the tightening in his pants as his cock swelled at the thought of Tony’s mouth sliding down on HIM instead. “I need to use the restroom.” Steve stood abruptly and walked stiffly off the Quinjet, attempting to surreptitiously adjust himself. 

Tony grinned and finished the banana. He wasn’t used to having Cap all to himself. They usually had at least one other Avenger with them on their missions, so Tony didn’t have as much freedom to torment the most tightly wound Avenger. He just knew that Cap would find himself a lot happier if he would let go and take what Tony was offering.  _ And I’m offering a lot, _ he thought, reaching down and rubbing the growing hardness in his pants.  _ Good thing I decided to pack the suit instead of wearing it, _ he thought with a wince.  _ That thing does not have enough boner space. _ Tony considered freeing his cock and surprising Steve with a show.  _ Or maybe… _ He grinned and stood, heading off the Quinjet and toward the hangar bathroom.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the bathroom, Steve stood at the sink, splashing cold water on his face. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He could still see the bulge of his cock straining against his suit.  _ Goddamn Tony, _ he thought with a growl. He knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the mission in his current condition, so he loosened his pants, pulling himself free and stroking himself. Steve let out a loud groan and pumped himself harder, his mind focused on the image of the banana disappearing past Tony’s lips. He gripped the sink with his free hand, thrusting hard into his other hand as he grunted with satisfaction. 

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Tony all but purred, pushing through the door and closing it behind him. “You should probably lock the door for this kind of thing...unless you were hoping that someone would find you?” Tony grinned, leaning against the door and reaching behind him to lock it. 

Cap sputtered and covered himself with his hands. “I-I was practicing! For the...polar bear? We should definitely start with a polar bear, since they’re endangered…” 

Tony stepped closer, reaching down and undoing his own pants. “Polar bear, great idea. Practicing is a great idea too. I’m definitely on board with practicing.” He pulled out his own length, already hard and beading with precum. He ran his hand down the length of his generous cock, watching as Steve’s pupils dilated and his eyes followed the motion of Tony’s hand. 

Steve slowly let his own hands drop, letting Tony see his own impressive member. Tony’s eyes widened. “Jesus, Cap. I guess you win. That Super Soldier Serum made you bigger  _ everywhere _ .” 

“Get over here and put it in your mouth,” Steve growled, any semblance of control lost at the sight of the hunger on Tony’s face. He’d had enough of the incessant teasing, he needed relief  _ now _ . 

Tony grinned, and stepped closer, reaching out and palming Cap. “Are you sure, big guy? There’s no going back after this.” He gave Steve a squeeze, biting his lip at Steve’s girth.

Steve didn’t answer. He put his hands on Tony’s shoulders and pushed him to his knees, thrusting himself into Tony’s face. 

Tony took Steve into his hand and stroked, considering his almost excessive length and girth. He opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, licking Steve’s tip. Tony was rewarded with a loud groan. He grinned and licked again, from root to tip, and Steve’s legs shook.  _ At this rate, Steve is gonna lose it before we even get started, _ Tony thought, gently sucking the tip of Steve’s leaking cock into his mouth. 

Steve cried out, thrusting hard. His cock slid further into Tony’s mouth and he gripped the other man’s hair hard. “Goddammit Tony, for once stop teasing me and just  _ take it _ !” 

Tony choked slightly at the intrusion, but hollowed his cheeks to add some suction as Cap thrust viciously into his throat. When Steve was as deep as he could go, Tony hummed, looking up at Steve’s face. Steve’s eyelids were heavy, his head tilted back. He shuddered, trying desperately to hold on, to make this feeling last as long as possible. He glanced down at Tony and almost came at the sight of his cock disappearing into that sarcastic, frustrating mouth. Tony pulled back and released him with a loud  _ pop _ . He stroked Steve with two hands, twisting and squeezing in a way he knew would drive Steve crazy. “Are you going to blow your load before we’ve even gotten to the good stuff?”

“What good stuff?” Steve panted, thrusting desperately into Tony’s hands. He was  _ so close… _

Tony stopped working him and stood. “Trust me?” 

Steve considered him for a moment, then nodded. Tony grinned and gently turned Steve to face the sink and mirror. “Hands on the sink,” he said, pressing gently between Steve’s shoulders to bend him over. Before shedding his own pants, Tony reached into the pocket to grab the bottle of lube he’d grabbed  _ just in case _ . He squeezed some of the slippery liquid into his hands and rubbed them together, warming it slightly, before rubbing his hand along Steve’s tight ass. Steve tensed immediately, but Tony reached up with his left hand and gently rubbed Steve’s shoulder. “Relax, I promise this will be everything you’ve ever wanted.” 

  
  
  
  



	3. Remember To Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension is finally relieved!

Steve groaned as Tony spread the warm, slippery lube over his tight entrance. “You’re going to have to relax, Cap,” Tony purred, sliding a finger just inside his asshole. “You’ve relaxed before, right?”

“Maybe once,” Steve ground out, clenching slightly at the intrusion. 

“Whoa, careful or you’re gonna break my finger,” Tony said with a laugh. As he continued his exploration of Steve’s ass, he used his free hand to rub some of the tension out of Steve’s shoulders. “Breathe, relax your muscles. It’s just you and me in here, it’s safe to let go.” As Tony whispered softly, Steve felt some of his tension sliding away. He relaxed shoulders and leaned forward, putting some of his weight on the sink. “Good, you’re doing great. Keep breathing, big guy,” Tony continued, sliding his finger deeper inside Steve. Steve groaned loudly, and pressed back slightly, desperate for more of whatever Tony was doing to his body. Tony worked his finger in and out of Steve while continuing to massage his back and whispering encouragement. He could practically feel Steve melt under his touch and his own cock twitched, desperate to be touched. 

“I had no idea,” Steve panted, “No idea this would feel so amazing.”

“Just you wait,” Tony chuckled softly, gently pulling his finger free from Steve, who whimpered at the loss. Tony quickly squeezed a little more lube on his hand and returned to his task, sliding a second digit into Steve. He gasped at the intrusion, throwing his head back. “Keep breathing, you’re almost ready,” Tony grunted, starting to lose his own control. It took all of his strength not to ram himself into Steve immediately. Between the seductive sounds escaping Steve’s lips and face of pleasure reflecting in the mirror, Tony’s own cock was straining to be touched. He worked his fingers in and out of Steve a little faster now, reaching down with his free hand to grasp Steve’s cock, pumping it in time with his fingers.

“Jesus, Tony...I think I’m about to--”

“Don’t you dare,” Tony growled. “We are not finished yet.” His third finger slid in easily and Tony grinned. He could work with this. He pumped his fingers in and out of Steve a few more times before pulling them out. He grabbed the lube again and squeezed some onto his hands, quickly rubbing them down the length of his cock. He lined himself up with Steve’s asshole, keeping one hand on the small of his back. “Are you ready for me?” He purred, rubbing his tip along Steve’s opening. 

“Yes, oh my god, yes,” Steve panted, pressing himself back again eagerly. 

Tony pressed forward, and whispered, “Don’t forget to breathe,” before pushing the head of his cock past the tight ring. Steve cried out, Tony’s cock stretching him even further than his fingers had. Tony stilled, giving Steve a moment to adjust. He ran his hands along Steve’s back and kneaded his flesh, waiting patiently. 

After a moment, the pain of the intrusion faded and was replaced with pure bliss. Steve moaned, rocking back slightly to take more of Tony’s length inside him. Tony hissed, pushing forward gently. He reached forward and grabbed Steve’s hair, tugging lightly until Steve had his head tilted back, locking eyes with Tony in the mirror. “Don’t look away,” Tony growled, before releasing Steve’s hair and running his hand down his body to grip his hips. He pressed forward again until he was fully seated inside Steve, then pulled out slightly before thrusting himself in again. Again and again, each time a little harder, a little faster. “Jesus, you are so tight. I can barely hold on.”

Steve moaned a little louder with each thrust, never taking his eyes off of Tony’s in the mirror. He gripped the sink tighter, using it to push himself back and meet Tony’s thrusts. Tony groaned loudly. “Stroke yourself,” he growled, tightening his grip on Steve’s hips. He would have to remember to thank whoever designed these bathrooms for the long mirrors. Even with the sink, he was able to Steve’s hand wrap around his thick cock, pumping furiously in time with Tony’s thrusts. “Yesss” Tony hissed, thrusting harder. “I’m almost there.” Steve grunted in agreement, his free hand still gripping the sink in front of them. His heavy lidded eyes closed as he threw his head back in pleasure. 

Tony gave Steve’s ass a sharp slap and his eyes flew open. “I said eyes on me,” Tony grunted, almost losing his control at the feeling of Steve’s ass tightening in response to the slap. 

“Do. That. Again,” Steve grunted, pumping his cock harder. 

Tony grinned. Who would have thought that Captain fucking America needed to be dominated a little bit? He raised his hand and brought it down on Steve’s ass hard, groaning with Steve. “Again,” Steve moaned. “Jesus, I’m so close.”

Tony slapped his ass sharply one more time and Steve cried out, cum spurting out of his cock and all over the mirror. Tony pulled out quickly, his own seed spilling across Steve’s reddened asscheeks. “That was a close one,” Tony laughed. “If I’d stayed in there you probably would have snapped my dick off.”

“That would...certainly...be a shame,” Steve panted, his legs trembling. Tony reached past him to grab a few towels and handed one to Steve while cleaning himself and Steve’s ass off. 

“Now we’re definitely ready for the polar bear.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back on the Quinjet, cleaned up and thoroughly sated, Steve and Tony were settling into their seats and preparing to take off for the Arctic when a call came in on the comms. 

“What’s up, Banner?” Tony asked, looking for another one of Clint’s hidden snacks. Nothing made him hungrier than illicit bathroom sex. 

“Hey, I’ve been trying to get in touch with you guys for like 30 minutes! What the hell are you doing?”

“We were settling an argument, but now we’re heading off to Alaska or whatever to jerk off some polar bears.” Tony drawled.

“I’m sorry, you’re doing what now?” Banner stuttered. 

“The Noah’s Ark Project? Fury asked us to collect animal DNA samples and we figured we’d start with the polar bears since they’re endangered.”

“Ok, but why would you need to jerk them off? You know you can just get a blood or hair sample, right?" Steve and Tony exchanged a glance. "And you don’t even need to go to the Arctic for polar bears, zoos are a thing that exist. They’ve already begun the DNA collection at most major zoos.” 

"I…" For once, Tony was at a loss for words. He'd been so caught up in tormenting Cap that he hadn't even considered how ridiculous this mission sounded. "Fury played us," he groaned, dropping his head into his hands.

"I thought you were supposed to be smart," Banner guffawed. "You were really going to go try to jerk off a polar bear? What were you going to do for the female samples?" Banner howled. "I would have paid good money to see that. Oh man, wait until I tell Thor-"

Steve cut off the comm and turned to Tony with a wicked glint in his eye. "Looks like we have a little more free time after all…"


End file.
